


These Small Hours

by LilyK



Category: Always and Everyone, The Professionals
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11454438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Can you really go back and start over? Maybe not, but you just might be able to start again.





	These Small Hours

When Robert Kingsford walked into A&E, he didn't need to approach the trolley any further than the doorway to recognize his next patient. He paused and tried not to look flustered. Then he spun on his heels and snatched a face mask from a package on a nearby cart. Tying the strings behind his head, he made his feet move forward until he was next to the prone man. Robert blinked rapidly, letting out a cleansing breath. He hoped that he didn't seem rattled to the all-knowing gazes of his nurses.

"Are you all right, Robert?"

No such luck.

Robert faked a quick cough. "Fine. Just a tickle. Bit of a bug, maybe. No sense spreading it around to unsuspecting souls." He gave another cough and a sniff as he took in his patient. His heart began to pound rapidly as a cold sweat washed over his body. Realising he didn't have the time right now to do anything but attend to his patient. Robert firmly took hold of himself and went to work.

As he examined the injured man, Robert tried not to think of anything but caring for him. His brain, however, had other plans.

As did his heart.

Bodie was here. Now. Right in front of him, after fifteen years. Years that Robert had lived without his former partner. His ex-lover. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes simply resigned years. For a man who didn't believe in miracles, who lived the life of a scientist, a physician, something miraculous had just happened.

Strangely, instead of filling him with dread, it felt good, seeing his friend after all these years. To know that Bodie was still alive. A sense of peace descended over him, and he welcomed it.

Now that he accepted the fact that Bodie was here, the questions formed rapidly. How had he fared on his own? Would he still care about their partnership, their friendship? Did the decade they'd spent together saving each other's lives on a daily basis, sharing everything, mean as much to Bodie as it had to Robert?

Funny, that. It had taken him several years to respond unconsciously to his new name. Robert. Robert Kingsford. And here, seeing Bodie again, in the blink of an eye he felt like his old self. Until now, he hadn't realised how much he'd missed his real self. How much he had liked being Raymond Doyle.

No sense in wallowing in regrets. Time couldn't be reversed, and he had work to do.

Robert pulled his stethoscope from around his neck and settled the ear pieces on, then held it to Bodie's chest. The strong rhythm made him sigh with relief. A close examination of his former partner revealed a concussion. The x-rays he would order would more than likely back up his belief that Bodie suffered from no broken bones. Robert was concerned, however, about the length of time he'd been told Bodie had been unconscious. Over five minutes.

"Bo-" Robert bit down on his own tongue. He hadn't asked the patient's name and long-taught caution made him remember his rules. Their rules. Rules that had kept him alive all these years.

In a carefully neutral tone, he asked the nurse for the patient's history.

"Driving licence says he's William Andrew Philip Bodie, aged 58, no medical alerts. Blood pressure..."

Robert mentally catalogued the statistics that the nurse listed as he returned to his examination. Bodie was, of course, older. Aren't we all, he mused. Grey streaked the once dark hair. Robert had to smile. He'd have reckoned a bloke as vain as Bodie would have coloured it by now. Robert also noticed that his patient was a trifle overweight, something he wasn't surprised to observe. The prat always did tend to consume far too much rich, bad-for-the-body food. Seems Bodie still had the same unhealthy habits. Still had the same beautiful face, though: strong and masculine. Memories made Robert grin and he was grateful for the mask. The rest of the staff would think he'd really gone barmy if they saw him smiling over an injured man.

"Thank you, Nurse." Robert leaned close to Bodie's ear. "Mr Bodie? Can you hear me? I'm Mr Kingsford and you're in hospital. Mr Bodie?"

Bodie's eyes flickered behind closed lids before opening slowly.

"Good man." Robert put a comforting hand on Bodie's arm when he saw the blue eyes he remembered so well blink in confusion. "You're all right. Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital."

"Right. How do you feel?"

"Head hurts like the blazes. Can't see straight. All fuzzy."

God, that voice. It still sent shivers up his spine. The years fell away and he knew he was in trouble. He could remember everything. Every detail. Every gun fight. Every shared drink. Every kiss. Every night filled with lust and desire.

Why hadn't it been enough for them?

"Do you remember what happened?" Robert asked.

"Got knocked over by a bloody bus," Bodie muttered.

"At least you're still alive." Robert cleared his throat. "Relax, Mr Bodie. You're in good hands." He glanced up at the nurse. "Full scan, please. I want to see the x-rays and test results as soon as they're ready. Keep him comfortable and let me know if there's any change at all."

"Yes, sir."

Robert nodded, took one final glance at Bodie and hurried away.

\-------------------------

Robert walked into Bodie's room with clipboard in hand and a pleasant smile on his face. After all, Bodie might not even remember-

"Doyle? For chrissake's! It is you! Doyle, you bastard!"

Robert looked into familiar blue eyes that were alight with rage. "Bodie," he said pleasantly. "How did you know it was me?"

"Did you think that mask and a few grey hairs would change anything?" Bodie growled as he slung back the blankets and started to rise. Robert was at his side in seconds, clipboard falling to the floor with a clatter.

"Stop it!" Robert ordered. "You have a concussion, you bloody idiot! You're lucky to be alive. Now lie back! You haven't changed a wit."

Bodie froze, his eyes fixed on one of Robert's hands that lay on his shoulder. Then he ever so slowly raised his head. He and Robert stared at each other for a long moment, both very still, until Bodie shivered.

"Lie back down," Robert said firmly. "Please."

A curt nod was his reward, and compliance, but now Bodie's gaze bore into his. Unrelenting. Unforgiving. But still...

"Bodie, I'm sorry."

"That's supposed to be good enough?" Bodie said, eyes flashing blue flames. "Letting me believe all these years that you were dead?"

Nobody was like Bodie. Got right to the point, as usual. No preliminary chatter. No 'how are you, Doyle'. Robert felt his own anger rise. "You're the one who left! You left me and CI5 and... It wasn't me who ran out."

"Do you think I've forgotten?" Bodie said sharply. "I didn't leave because I didn't love-" His voice trailed off. He raised his hands to his face, pressing his palms into his eyes. "Why, Doyle? Just tell me why?"

"They killed Ann."

"What?" Bodie's hands fell away. He looked absolutely gobsmacked. "She's dead?"

"Yes. Twelve years ago. Not long after..." Robert shrugged even as the pain flared in him. The guilt. He should never have dragged her into his life.

"Christ, Doyle, I'm so sorry. No one said anything."

"No one would now, would they?" Robert sighed deeply and pulled a chair over. He flopped down, scrubbing at his eyes before he said tiredly, "I didn't mean to hurt you when I married Ann."

Bodie shrugged as he picked at the sheet.

"You still don't want to talk, do you? All these years," Robert said, "and you still hide. You've always been a bastard, Bodie, and you always will be."

Bodie crossed his arms, staring down at his toes. Robert wasn't surprised to see the dispassionate face Bodie presented to the world. Good old Bodie. Nothing had changed. Bodie couldn't -- wouldn't offer more all those years ago, and when Ann had resurfaced from New York in '84, Robert had jumped at the chance she presented -- marriage, possibly a child. Things he'd always wanted. Stability, permanence, affection. Had he loved her? Yeah, in his own way. But never like he'd loved Bodie...

Robert leaned forward. "You disappeared, mate. Even Cowley didn't know where you'd gone."

"Had to, didn't I? Couldn't watch you with her. You knew I loved you!" Bodie said accusingly.

Robert had to laugh. It was cold and brittle. He saw Bodie wince at the sound, but he didn't care. "I think you've got your story wrong, mate." He didn't even try to keep the anger, the disappointment, from his voice. "I asked you straight out to stay with me. To admit to Cowley what we meant to each other. I needed to live openly with you, but you refused. In case you've forgotten, you said, and I quote, "I'm not a "bloody poofter"."

Bodie sat very still before he turned his head to look directly at Robert. "I was a bloody fool. I had it wrong. All of it."

Robert held his breath. Bodie was admitting his mistake? Well, now, would wonders never cease. But the anger still burned. "So what now? You think because you realise you screwed up, that's the end of it? That I'd forgive you and... Christ, Bodie, you're injured. This isn't the time for this. You need to-"

Something in Bodie's eyes made Robert's words dry up. Sadness. Regret. Not always a patient man, Robert found the strength to pause and wait for Bodie to speak.

"I never deserved you, Doyle." Bodie gave a half-hearted smile. "You needed somebody who could love you the way you wanted. I hope she did." Bodie paused before he asked, "What happened? I heard through the grapevine that you'd -- died in the line of duty. How in bloody hell did you end up here?" He waved a hand in the air that Robert knew encompassed more than the room.

"Took the wrong undercover assignment from Cowley. It went pear-shaped quickly. They found out about me and as punishment, they took out-" Robert quickly glanced down at his hands. It still hurt after all these years. "Killed her. Car bomb. Cowley set up the new identify for me. So far, it's held out."

"They? Never mind. It doesn't matter, does it? I'm truly sorry. I couldn't stay. I hated how you made me feel. How I wasn't in control of my emotions. How you made me want you so much. I resented you for making me like that. Please, Ray..."

Robert's head came up sharply. "Robert. Dr Kingsford, thank you very much. It's my name now. I can't be him any more." He saw the anguish in Bodie's eyes. He shook his head. "It's all right." Even now, Bodie made his heart thump and his blood hum. Even now, he would forgive Bodie anything. With a smile, he said, "I worked long and hard to get here. Took me a good bit to get through medical. I was at it day and night."

Bodie relaxed a little at Robert's explanation. "Caring for people -- it suits you... Robert." Bodie grinned. "But the name, that's something else. How about Bob? Or I know! Bobby!"

"Don't you dare!" Robert growled. "Reminds me too much of my days at The Met."

"Are you...?" Bodie hesitated. Robert was again surprised to see Bodie so tentative. He remembered the brash partner who often hid his feelings with droll humour or cool distance.

"Am I, what?' Robert asked.

"Otherwise engaged?"

"Eh?"

"Married, you twit."

"Oh." Robert shrugged. "No. Free as a bird. Last time didn't work out. Have a little one, though. Well, not so little any more. But no, I'm all alone in my spacious flat, with no one to mind me."

Bodie grinned, making Robert remembered why he loved him. That smile was enough to send anybody's heart pounding. Those eyes conveyed so much emotion even if Bodie wasn't one to let on how he felt in words. And Robert was no different from all the others that Bodie had caught in his web. Bodie had captured his heart years ago. Still had it, apparently.

Suddenly, the years fell away. The pain, the hurt, all of it. Robert was on his feet. Bodie's arms came out and Robert saw how much it had hurt Bodie to leave all those years ago. How much Bodie did love him. How much Bodie had punished himself in his refusal to admit his feelings.

"Bodie," Robert whispered.

"Please, Ray," Bodie said again, a definite hitch in his voice.

Robert moved closer. Bodie leaned forward. They were in each other's arms. And as easily as it had once been, their mouths found each other's with long familiarity and the pent-up fire born of years apart.

It wasn't until Bodie shuddered in his embrace that Robert gently pushed him away. "You need to rest." He touched the fine hair he'd dreamt of many times over the years. It was still soft under his fingers. Just as he remembered.

"What now?" Robert asked.

"Never going to leave you, Doyle. Robert. Whatever it is you like to be called. Never," Bodie said in a determined voice. "Never."

"And what about me? I can't hide in the dark. Can't pretend that you don't mean something -- everything to me."

Bodie smiled, gently stroking Robert's cheek. "You can put an announcement in the bleeding Times for all I care. Complete with photographs. I'll even wear the wedding frock if you like. Look smashing in virginal white, I'll have you know."

Robert laughed. "We have a lot to talk about, I reckon."

"Will your friends be shocked?"

"A few might be. The true ones will love you. The rest be damned."

"Robert? You sure I have to call you that? It's so superior. What's your middle name, then?"

"David."

Bodie grinned, lacing his fingers with Robert's. "RD it is, then. It'll be our little secret. Robert David. Raymond Doyle. I love them both."

"You are a great nutter, Bodie. Now get some rest."

"Aren't you letting me out of this miserable place?" Bodie whined.

"I'm on duty until eight. I might consider taking you home with me if you behave yourself." Robert gave Bodie his most serious glare and pointed a finger at him. "That means stay in bed, eat what you're given, and don't touch my nurses!"

Bodie stuck out his lower lip. "I suppose I'd better promise. If I want a treat, that is."

Robert laughed. "You're still incorrigible. It's adorable in a child, but on you, it's disgusting. Now sleep."

"Give us a bedtime smooch?"

"Christ, you definitely are a pain in the arse. Nothing's changed. I must be mad to even think about taking up with you again."

Unable to contain his grin, Robert leaned down and planted a loud smacker on Bodie's forehead. Bodie groaned. He tried to capture Robert's mouth, but Robert was too nimble for him.

"Rest!" Robert ordered, crossed the room to the door where he paused. "Bodie?" When Bodie's gaze found his, Robert smiled. "It's going to be all right."

"I know. Have faith in you. Always have. Always will. Messed up a few things..."

Robert let the surprise show on his face. Bodie gave him an embarrassed grin, then said, "All right. Not going to let me get away with anything, are you?" Robert shook his head. "Wanker," Bodie muttered before he admitted, "Messed up more than a few things. But this time, I'll set it to right. I promise."

Robert felt his throat tighten with emotion at Bodie's confidence in him. He couldn't do more than nod at his long-lost love, now found, and make his getaway before he betrayed just how much all of this was affecting him. In the hallway, he leaned against the wall outside Bodie's room, steadying his racing heart. He was more than a bit surprised that Bodie seemed as shaken as he about their reunion. He took in a calming breath and huffed it out slowly. Another moment, then he smiled and let himself really feel the joy that coursed through him. Still, he shook his head at what the fates had brought him today. Bodie was back. All was right with his world.

Robert heard his name over the intercom, calling him back to his duties. He pushed off from the wall and headed towards A&E with a light heart and a positive feeling for his future. His and Bodie's.

Together again. The way it was surely written in the stars... Robert laughed. Good God, but sometimes he was such a romantic sod. Pleased with himself, and with Bodie, he hurried on.

End.


End file.
